R.I.P. Victoria's computer

This is my girlfriend Victoria








There she is with that pretty and oh so sassy smile on her face thinking of the next witty comeback to say (it's safe to say she generally has the last word because I can never think of any wittier comebacks). She is asleep now and as I sit here and type on my new iPhone I am tempted to wake her up to the very sad news that her computer is no more. Dead. A pile of junk.



It went from the blu screen of death to this screen which reads "harddrive corrupt. Displace memory". I know what the word "replace" means but am clueless on displace. Sooo, there u have it. I'll let her sleep but I do feel bad that her pc is officially fried; toast; gone. So rest in peace home slice, pouring u a drink this weekend in ur honor...

Post From My iPhone

Farm boy

Okay no I am not a farm boy but for some reason I woke up at 4:45am like I live on one. I'm trying remember the dream I had which woke me up- I think it was something with a forest and a car...anyway as I laid in bed for 45 minutes trying to fall asleep I realized I ain't fallin asleep again for tonight so why not use my new iPhone to blog...

On tv is an infomercial with mr. T and some kitchen appliance. Funny he's gone from pitying the fool to selling a tool. this weekend should be a packed one. Friday and Sunday I have my daughter and Saturday night I am partying it up with my good friends. Oy it's still Thursday only. It's amazing so many tv channels and I grew up in an era of 8 channels only so the concept of cable to me is always cool. Case in point, I got tired of mr. T and decided to play one of the episodes of criminal minds I recorded. What's this post about nothing really. Just that I am awake at 5:41am. Wishing I was at my gf's apartment. Her apartment is so much nicer than mine and for some reason the best sleep I always get is when she's next to me. Also she has the fan on and I think the white noise sooths me. K time to see if I can fall asleep again.


-- Post From My iPhone

Inpire

This little note is always painted on the entrance door of my guitar school.  I took a picture of it sometime ago.  Thought it was fitting for this blog...

today's success

okay today, i was craving for some odd reason, my usual not so healthy breakfast of 3 or 4 eggs (i love eggs, i mean how could you not), home fries, sausage, cornbeef hash and white toast with plenty of butter and some coffee...yes not very healthy.  i'm still hurting from yesterday's work out  okay let me rephrase, i hurt more than i did last night.  soooo in the spirit of doing something daily and consistently, to achieve my health goals, i had a small plain oatmeal, a little bit of  honey and a side of apples..have to admit, i felt not full, but satisfied....so there you go, a personal high mini five to me.  I may not be feeling at my best as i'm not anywhere near where my goal is to be as far as being in shape goes.  but its better than having than nothing at all.  


cj

Flowers and Inspiration

Inspiration really is contagious, and for once, hey I inspired someone (Inspiration).  And its true, i've been down on myself letting my unhappiness own me.  and just now, reading that lovely article.  I suddenly got it!! Own it!  not just the good, the grand, the happy, the funny, the loving..but own it all..even your quirks, your bad habits, your not so good and not so funny....and i did that totally without realizing it my last post.  In order to really work on somethings I need to change, i need to Own those things too.

tonight, after i worked out (or rather what i call my trainer's version of torture), as i limped home slowly wondering, damn i feel sooo 37 at this moment and also "hmm, i don't think my arm muscles should be feeling this way", i went to my gf's place and just decided to buy her some flowers.  she has been busy with her new move to her new place and while this has been happening, i've been kind of cranky and irritable and she just has been extremely understanding.  kudos to her.  she's just plain freaking amazing.  yes we fight and bicker - i mean who doesn't.  but seriously, i feel and i can say this with 100% assurance, my life would not be what it is now,  career wise, music and guitar wise, as a person - spiritually - if it wasn't for her support.  sometimes i'll go on day in and day out and kind of wait for the right  moment to buy her a card or buy her some flowers....and i wait and wait and tonight i just decided to not wait.  life is short.  if you care about someone, or want to say a thank you to a friend, or brother or sister or want to just let someone know how or what you feel..just friggin say it, do it, express it..own your feelings and thoughts and share them.  in my eyes, giving flowers can be just a simple thing, at least to me, but when i saw her eyes light up, i was glad i picked them out.  so  victoria, this post is dedicated to you.  thank you...

cj

slump

okay so i was being a bit of a drama queen when i wrote that last post below.  i'm going leave it up just as a reminder to me.  I've never been the quitting type. good lord there were times when i really should've been.  but honestly, call it my stubbornness or resiliency, but i've never been been the kind of person to just walk away from something, even when things aren't going my way.  i think i eventually tend to wear things or people down until i am successful.  but lately, that has changed.  its not that i have quit anything, its that i suddenly stopped doing the things i need to do to be successful.  my eating and workouts, my finances, my job (am in a job situation where i need to find a new job since people are being let go)...like that U2 song says, "sometimes we're stuck in a moment we can't get out of".  

so i'm tired of feeling this way, not sleeping well to start, had a bout with kidney stones and honestly am kind of not motivated lately.  i keep hearing that phrase, don't wait to get motivated to act on something, but act on something in ORDER to get motivated.  and so that is what i am doing.  when you're unhappy with your life its hard to write funny, witty and cheerful things day in and day out in a blog - yes my goal was to write that.  but that is not very honest.  i'm actually not very happy with the current quality of my life, the direction of my job, the condition of my health, the place where i am in my finances, my poor poor sleeping patterns and also my gf has mentioned i've been a bit irritable lately.  so to her i apologize.  but more so then that.  i need to act on my life and take ownership of what i need to do.  sometimes i'll make a promise to someone and not always follow through and i realize i tend to do the same to myself.

this weekend, i read what a fellow friend/blogger wrote on her own it blog, and i am so inspired at how she and her friends all have this amazing drive, passion to succeed at a happy life and just being able to write about it.  so i know this post is not a happy one but who cares, i'm not happy at the moment and so i have to be honest.  my other blogging friend mentioned to me when i said i'm quitting my blog, "why, quit, you're writing it for yourself, right?"  and she is right.   i need to write this for myself.  i have to be honest with myself even in my writing...and right now, i need to correct some wrongs in my life aka, all i mentioned earlier.  so much to do, and i know i have so long of a way to go.  this is a long post.  but i feel i need to say a few things. i need to just go about like if i have my mojo, to quote someone, and i can't remember who - "fake it till you make it".   i realize march is upon us and i'm tired of just letting my current situation take a hold of me.   motivation comes in all forms, and when it doesn't, i just have to keep going like its there.

cj

good-bye mr. blog

today i feel like saying good-bye to you mr. blog.  seriously, ever had one of those days when you just want to say i quit.  i'm done.  i've had it with (insert said pain in the ass subject here)...well today would be that day.  i sometimes feel dumb, odd, stupid writing this blog.  who the heck really follows it anyway, or even remotely comments on it.  really, what's it worth.   I think some people are meant to have great blogs and maintain it and post witty and memorable blogs.  i am not one of those people.  seriously, what started as an experiment is more of a frustrating effort in futility.  so hence...mr. blog.  i am saying goodbye to you today.   now, i know i'm being dramatic.  but i'm having a not so good day and so i need to take it out on something..hence said blog.  maybe i'll try it again sometime down the road.  but i've tried writing day after day..and to be honest i always feel like i'm literally talking to myself.  i mean is this what it normally feels like at the beginning of a blog.  did i not think this through enough.  well.  so i must go back to the drawing board. 


city john says adios....

No Title

So this post has no subject.  Just not really sure where i'm going with it.  Had a decent weekend in Philly with my gf.  It was bitterly cold but yet we still made the treck through out the cheese steak city and walked around to a few good places, i.e. Rocky Statue, Liberty Bell, Constitution Hall, all the Historic streets and alleys.  While, yes i did take a photo with the Rocky Statue, upon arrival at said statue, I didn't do the gratuitous rocky pose with it.  Maybe I will next time.  I was just bummed that now they've moved that statue to the bottom of the steps to the right, and not where it was at the very top.  All in all, I enjoyed the two day get  away.  Looking forward to another go at Philly sometime soon, when its warmer.  Most of all, its soooo inexpensive and you can do so much there.  Definitely a place worth seeing and visiting, even at 10.00 round trip on a bus.  Yes, 10.00, you read that right.

Snowing again today, ugh, and double ugh and as i sit and type and recuperate from what i call a very grueling work out session with a trainer...(yes i hired a temporary trainer to get my arse started so i can get my health back into gear), i think, wow, i've really let myself go a good bit.  soo...as this is lent, and my gf is giving up soda, chips and starbucks (hey i support you vicks on this - you're a brave ladd)... I am going to give up eating outdoors for lunch and breakfast, soda and juice as well for lent.  so it will be easy on my pockets and on my belly.  so there you have it.  I have more to say.  but ehh, need to get back to this thing people who pay me call work.  oh yes, one more thing.  there is a movie called "New York I Love You".  great movie, amazing NYC backdrop scenes.  I totally recommend it. There is something about this city that draws you in.  Even though I enjoyed my stay in Philly, short as it was...I loved that feeling as the bus was entering Manhattan again, and i could see the NYC skyline and all the buildings..I Love NY!

P.S. Yes i tried eating Philly Cheese Steak Sandwhiches for the first time ever..and let me tell you, they are indeed every bit as good and delicious as they say they are..omg, if you do anything at all in philly, is get yourself one of these bad boys:

Of Mice and Men...

"I will hug him george.  I will hug him and squeeze him and call him george..." - Of Mice and Men..

Okay, 3am,, i am woken up from my semi-peaceful slumber by a rustling in a plastic bag in the kitchen.  Let me backtrack a bit.  I've had this one tiny annoying vermon of a mouse having his way with my stuff, including a few weeks ago, eating a steak i was craving and defrosting on top of my microwave (i didn't think he'd get to it there).  So i was settled on catching him.  I tried glue traps and those snapping mouse traps, even the anti-cruelty little traps that just traps them in a round plastic cage..and nothing.  this mouse was a mischievous one and a crafty one to boot.  soo fast forward to last night.  The rustling from the kitchen woke me up.  i had a regular food shopping bag with some garbage in there hanging from one of the knobs on a door cabinet under my sink.  I didn't think there was any way he'd get in there as it was hanging off the ground.  well, said mouse, was a daredevil too as he must have jumped from the sink to the bag below...

So apparently he was stuck ni the plastic bag and couldn't get out.  Now when i found him, i do realize i had two choices...1) just tie the bag and throw him in the garbage bin outside..or 2) Kill him, mercilessly beat his little mouseass to death...

okay i chose 2). lets just say if there were any other mice watching..they will probably  think twice before making their way into my apt.  yes, i probably over did it with how i disposed of this little rodent's life.  but hey, i have a daughter who comes over and also he ate my steak.  so in my book, he signed his own death warrant. so as i type, i poor part of this beer (hot chocolate) on to the ground for my homey....

Like A Rolling Stone...

Okay, so there are the Rolling Stones - and there is the song, "like a rolling stone", and while we're at it, there is even the good old expression "Killing two birds with one stone"...these are all examples of good stones, i.e., the stone on a wedding ring, etc etc etc... want to know the example of a bad stone:

A Bladder Stone, or rather Bladder Stones!

Yes, I've been told I have bladder stones.  apparently one can get stones in there.  although i don't see how, its not like i go around drinking smoothies made with rocks, or chew on dirt.  but hey, somehow those little suckers have made their way into this work of art, i call my body - wink!.  while i may be joking, this experience of pain, discomfort, nausea and down right feeling of icky-ughness has highlighted something very important to me: I Don't Drink Enough Water!  Its okay, one must first admit the problem before committing to addressing it.  and so, my sick little bladder - i pledge from now on to drink more then enough water in hopes that the experience of actually passing the stone(s) is not as bad and painful as i am envisioning it to be.  Really, I once heard a doctor say that the experience of passing a stone or stones, is as comparable in PAIN, 2nd to having a child...I don't want to give birth, and i don't want to pass stones...EVER.

so there you have it.  drink plenty of water folks and take good care of your bodies.  As you get older, all those little days of not eating right and living a healthy life will catch up with you and kick  you in the groin...

City john must go now and drink his cranberry juice!


Update:  Yes it was every bit as painful to pass what i hope is only a very few amount of stones...you want to hear a grown man almost cry complain like a 10 year old kid, have him experience kidney stones...

breaking odd...news

okay every now and then, some news hits me that just makes me do a double-take..triple even...so now the newest fad to lose weight: Eating Worms To Lose Weight.  I am dumbfounded.  Is this what we have come down to, inserting a parasitic worm into our bodies to make us lose weight.  I mean I am all for weight loss in the spirit of being healthy. but to just be thin...um.  no.  and in my opinion, women are truly beautiful and hot with their natural god-given curvitude.  At least me, i don't like a thin woman, i tend to like the curviness of a woman.  And from my friends to guys i have spoken to about this topic, we also tend to like a curvy and maybe even full-figured woman.  When I see an ad in a magazine of an 80 lb womnan wearing something by some fancy designer, i can't relate to it.  Give me a real woman.  A woman with some meat on her. A woman who isn't afraid to show her curves.  As a man who happens to be thick and i'm tall, although for reasons of better health, i'm sure i could use to drop a few libras, but i know i'll never be skinny.  i'm always going to be 200 lbs and above.  i see this all the time.  I read not so long ago some kid said they thought they were fat!! I mean why are we so obsessed with people being skinny? Meat, eat meat! Potatoes! Stop the madness!! And i really wish all these diets, surgeries, skinny weight loss scams would go away and allow women to be as they are, beautiful and natural in their god given glory - natural, curves and all - amen to that brother!!
 Kate Winslet = natural, and elegance all in one...

City John back to work....

Apples and Oranges

Literally, apples and oranges.  So i've decided to include two more things into my diet from now on: apples and oranges.  normally i hate apples (can't stand the skin - although this is the healthiest part) and oranges.   See, the usual custom for Lent is that one give up something for a certain amount of time - i'm not sure exactly for how long - i think its 40 days, right? and i decided to give up soda and juice - but this is easy.  okay not that easy, today i had a jones for pepsi and dr. pepper like it was going out of style.  but instead of actually giving up something (i mean i still will give up soda and juice) i'm planning on giving up my distastte, aversion, hatred, enemy-like-attitude, unfondness for fruit, but in particular - wait for it: Apples, and what...Oranges...

So, i'm going to start slow.  i will have 1 apple and 1 orange a day.  and maybe up it to about say....2 or 3...but i know i know, don't go crazyyy.....so there you have it.  I am throwing down the white flag and extending an olive branch, or shall i say grape vine and making ammends with fruit.   that's my Lent commitment and i'm planning on sticking with it...

city john says good night


post post-up follow up:  today i've had one apple, and one orange..thus meeting my quota.  

Weekend Report....

So it was a fun weekend, going out to Jersey with the GF and doing some ring shopping and also getting together with my friends on saturday night (although i could've done without 1 too many margharitas and the uncooked rice at my favorite mexican food joint) and also for the superbowl with them as well.  Although, again, i was still feeling the ill effects of said margharitas and bad rice...but alas, had a blast being active seeing those peeps important to me and going out. 

So all in all, had a great time with great friends saturday and sunday and got to be sassed by the sassy gf.  not bad for a weekend..well okay, i lost money in the company pool about the superbowl.  but you can't win them all..now can you?

I just flipped the bird!

Okay normally, even though as a new yorker i am well within my rights to flip someone off if i chose to, at my own discretion...as i am a 37 year old professional latin city dweller from the upper east side, yes i've heard we must adhere to a strict code of cool conduct, i don't go around really flipping just anyone off.  today, though, was different.

okay, scenario, i had just finished helping my sazzafraz sassy gf move into her new apartment when i decided i have to get to work today so i went to walk towards the bus.   as i'm walking i see the bus at the bus stop at the corner and this little old guy, no more than maybe 70 lbs with a walker knocking on the bus driver's door to let him in.  now, the bus was at the bus stop and the light was red.  i guess he figure he did one of those okay no one is here now so i'm moving along type of deals.  but the old man had just gotten there when he was about to pull off.  but this dunkin-deuchery of an ass-bag did not want to let him in.  so i knock hard on the guy's window and said, "hey, he has a walker, and its cold, let the man in!!!".  he was like ignoring us. ohhhhhh you do not want to ignore me.  that just enrages my latin genes.  yes, they're latin and they're not happy...so i knock again, "have a heart man, he has a walker.  let him in!" he turns, smiles and just pretends he can't here us.  so i do what came next.  i knock on his window and called him a sleu of names i can't repeat here.  (you can ask me later if you are really curious) and yes, i flipped him off..and not just any flip..i mean  big flip where i pointed at him with said middle finger and mouthed something that well, rhymes with Duck Chu......he looked at me in shocked..and i did it again ..and said, "hey you're a bleeping bleepery of a bleep..where is your sense of humanity.  this guy is old and its cold here.  i realllly hope i bump into you on the street someday." and flipped him off again.  at that point, the light turned green and he kept going...yes, i know, it was not polite of me..but hey, i hate injustice and more important, i hate when someone takes advantage of a situation over someone else.  the old man thanked me and we had a nice conversation while we both waited for the next bus.   he said, "you hate seeing people like that...there is no need for that.  my legs may be old, but there is no cure for what he has..he has a broken spirit.  he hates his life.."  so there you have it.  i flipped off a bus driver today. and yes, i'd do it again if i had to!!


post - post update:  okay so i told this to my gf, about what happened..and she gave me a very disapproving "JOHNNNNNNN".  so if you think this was not justified, or that this is wrong of me..let me know.  i'm really curious to know.  i know the bus driver was wrong in not opening the door to the old guy...and he really could have..but did i take it too far in insulting him and ok, sort of threatening him.   although, all i said is "i hope to bump into you on the street someday"..maybe it means i want to  get to know  him better and maybe i'll treat him to a starbucks ;)

okay city john walks the pavement...

City John's bullets of wisdom...

i've realized..nothing good ever comes from when your gf tells you: "sooo, i was thinking..." somehow i know i'm going to end up reading something i dont' wanna read, or end up going to some department store...or something of that nature.

(i would call them pearls of wisdom, but pearls are for girls..and well, hey, this is a blog by a man...hence, manly bullets  also appropriate here would be baseball bats, punches (of wisdom), fists, machines....)

Try Something New

"Do something everyday which scares you..." - Eleanor Roosevelt.  This quote has been on my mind lately.  And not so long ago my snazzy sassy sazzafraz girlfriend, Vicks, were talking about that.  sooo...since i said i will be "owning it" and doing something new this year or something which does normally "concern" me...she has signed us up for Dog Sledding and i think body snow tubing and i think snow boarding...

Now, normally i would not do any of these activities..as 1) I do not like to be surrounded by dogs which would have me for lunch if they weren't fed yet, and 2) My people (latinos) normally aren't a water/snow/ice sports type of people.  sooo...i will still do this and forget my feelings on said activities...and just go for it.  really, life is short and i'd like to say i have at least tried it.  and i read somewhere, "experience, can really be the only true measure of fear..." Meaning, okay if i've never stuck my hand in fire, i may not always know that it would burn and cause pain..but if i do actually put my hand in a flame, then well i will have known the outcome.  okay, stop, don't actually put your hand in a flame..but i mean..don't discount something without even having tried it first.. 

my next venture, horse-back riding...now if any of you really know me, you will know my feelings towards animals which are bigger than me.  i have never gone horse back riding and often times when walking in NYC and I happen to see a big horse, (ok they're all big), i tend to avoid them..but alas, no more.  I plan on making peace with the gallopy kind and eventually riding one.  this is more of a gift for my gf who always says she wishes i knew how to ride a horse...so there you go.  try something new which scares you.  and let me say there's nothing scarier than a horse....and a bunch of snow going down hill...is there anything you've been avoiding doing because it scares the bedittle out of you?

Funny Story

A walk down memory lane.  A few years ago, or okay more like 12 years ago, my spanish wasn't what it is now...okay okay its not that much better..in my own family i am considered a "gringo".  I was on a train and i accidentally stepped on a woman's foot kind of hard.  Well she screamed, her foot in agony and i instantly apologized.  As i was in jackson heights, the ecuadorian restaurant capital of the world, i said to her in spanish "oh, perdoname, pero estoy embarazado por aberla pisada".  She looked at me and said "QUE!!!" (What?!).  I said it again.  "perdoname, pero estoy embarazado por aberla pisada".  She looked at me this time and laughed and said "QUE??!"  so i repeated myself and this time another woman next to her kind of cracked up laughing.  so i left the train, confused, and bewildered and wondering wht had just happened.  so i go home and call my mother and explain this to her  She tells me, in my efforts to say to her "Please forgive me, I am embarassed for having stepped on  your foot like that".  I somehow got the word embarassed in spanish wrong.  In spanish "Embarazado" means pregnant, knocked up, preggers...The real word for embarassed in spanish is "Abergonzado". So in essence, to translate, i was telling her "oh, please forgive me i am pregnant after having stepped on your foot.  I ofcourse, after hearing her say "What?!" a few times kept repeating to her that I was now knocked up, pregnant after having stepped on her foot.  Ofcourse, fret not my friends, readers, followers, while i did fail biology in high school more than once, i doooo know you can't pregant through a foot....This is my "embarrassing" moment of the month story...What about you, reader(s?) do you have any embarassing little anecdotes to share with us the viewing public of this little blog-ditty?

The Allure of the City...

Try this...ever just stop, anywhere in the city and close your eyes...no, i don't mean while crossing the street..although this could bring new meaning to the word: exhilarating.  but just stop somehwhere and close your eyes for a moment.  what do you hear?  and listen, i mean really listen...the gush of wind brushing up against your ears as you turn them into radars, trying to identify the sounds flowing in to your ear drums...the honking and movement of cars, tires smoothly churning over and over again, turning, and eating up the pavement; the cold clisp clasp of high-heeled boots grasping at the hard harsh cement; a flood of scents invades your nose.  this can't be helped..you've stopped one of your main senses, your main sense from working, so other's kick into high gear... 

you still lean forward, aching to identify all the many sounds you are capturing - a dog barking, a man talking to a woman "she wants us to meet at Tonic on 7th ave..." you momentarily think about where you've seen that bar; a pair of women in the middle of a conversation - you capture only something about a guy and where one of them met him - from the pitch and depth of the voice, the women in conversation are in their 20s.  but you can only guess, your eyes are still shut, your other senses are in full run now..  you can feel the coldness of the city wind run through your neck, your cheek bones, your hands, your forehead...the scent of car exhaust and a vanilla scented woman's perfume fill your nostrils - the crisp january air kicks it in deeper, into your memory slots.   this is new york, you think to yourself, these sounds, these scents, the breeze that's a mix of hot dog vendor car smoke and low temperature precipitation and high humidity brush like an old familiar hand along your forearms and up the backs of your calves....today would've been a good day to wear warmer socks you think to yourself.   and yet, you open your eyes...

something about new york city at night.  or even in the day time.  but the night, it just brings everything to life.  perhaps its because your shift at work has ended, and you now become part of the city again, that this part excites you.  new york city.  it draws you in and keeps you.  no matter where you go, you can walk 10 city blocks...and in those 10 city blocks, you will have encountered 6 different distinct cultures, 5 different languages, 4 different skin colors - you will have walked almost an entire world, in those 10 city blocks.  no matter how much shocking and disturbing things you can see in new york city, and you will see at least one disturbing thing in new york city on a daily basis - it still keeps you -

new york city.  no other city like it.  kind of like listening to John Mayer's Neon - while sitting in a warm, partially lit starbucks on a wednesday night.   you can never tire of it.  and there is always something new you will find in it.

city john